For my family
by Lady Starwing
Summary: Kralloyd oyako father/son fluff. NOT INCEST. I believe I have said enough. ONESHOT COLLECTION. UPDATED RANDOMLY, NOT COMPLETE! Be prepared for pretty much ANYTHING in this oneshot collection. Beware of #4, for it is very angsty ...
1. My Miracle

_**Li:**__ Well this actually came to me Saturday night while sleeping, but it took me until today to write it out…or maybe it was Friday…agh…who cares?! I got this oyako in my head and it won't GO AWAY!!! –beats head against wall in frustration-_

_I do not own Tales of Symphonia. The lucky bums at Namco do. _

_Miracle_

_---_

Lloyd sighed quietly, snuggling further into the blankets. The group had split up in Flanoir, with four of them leaving with the doctor to take care of Altessa, with him (Lloyd), Colette, Sheena and Genius remaining behind. The other three had tried to coax Lloyd out from his room to no avail; the twin swordsman was not coming out, especially not after the shock he had just been through.

He had just met his father, the traitor Kratos. It stood to reason why he was shocked; first you think one's father is dead for fourteen years and then he turns up again and nearly kills you on several occasions before you actually find out who the bloody hell he is! Most people would be in shock, but added onto the fact that Kratos was a seraphim, and angels didn't have children…Lloyd felt like a total outcast.

There was nobody in the world that was like him. He was a freak of nature.

Sighing again, the teen snuggled into the bed so that the very top of his head was visible. Not wanting to bother with the rest of the world, he simply faked being asleep as a knock came at his door. Again.

'Go away…' He thought, not moving a muscle. He didn't want to deal with anything else at that moment. He had enough trouble sorting out the Kratos-is-my-father situation as it was. When the knocking stopped, he assumed that the person had left. Slowly relaxing his body he poked his face out of the covers, staring out of the window at the snow falling outside. Completely transfixed, he never noticed the person that had silently crept into the room and sat on his bed.

Until the person wrapped a pair of arms around him in a cautious hug, efficiently pulling Lloyd onto the person's lap. Letting out a startled yelp, he turned to find himself looking right at the person he had been thinking about; Kratos.

The Seraph had a look on his face that seemed to be half-concern, and half something else that Lloyd couldn't completely tell what it was yet. There also seemed to be a bit of guilt in those wine colored orbs as well as they stared gently at the teen in his arms, a soft silence filling the air.

Kratos spoke first, drawing a deep breath as he began "Lloyd…" The teen looked right back at him, urging the 4,000 plus angel to keep talking. "..I think I owe you an apology…and an explanation."

"Why?" Lloyd was curious now. "Not the apology part, but…what do you need to explain?" Tilting his head to one side, an eyebrow arched in a curious look, he resembled his toddler self that Kratos nearly jumped and gasped. Stifling the impulse, he instead sighed again and pulled Lloyd in closer to his chest, sapphire wings slowly wrapping around the two. Resting his head on the teen's head, the ancient angel let out his breath in a soft whisper.

"Why I left you behind all those years ago." His voice seemed slightly strangled, and a shudder seemed to go up his body. Lloyd gaped silently, lightly grasping his father's shirt. The single contact seemed to give Kratos a bit of strength to say what he had to, for he started again, "After I…killed Anna…" biting his lip to keep from breaking over the memory, he continued, "And she returned to her human form, K'var returned. He was after the Exsphere, and during the chaos of the battle, you fell off of the cliff with Noishe and Anna."

"I saw you falling, and when I just barely missed catching you…I lost it." Lloyd audibly gasped at the fact that Kratos had lost his temper, a silent rage inside of him at the mention of K'var's name dissipating. Looking up at Kratos' face, he saw a small flicker of remorse in the wine red orbs that stared back at him.

"And then…?" Lloyd offered, wondering how the ending turned out. The Seraph tensed, his arms clutching Lloyd closer to his body. The teen could hear his heartbeat, which seemed to be racing despite his calm face.

"…After the Desians were either all dead or gone, I went to the edge of the cliff and looked for you. But when I only saw the half eaten Desian corpses, I feared the worst." Kratos seemed to be in a trance, the shock and numbness he had felt from loosing his only family coming back. Lloyd tensed when he heard the angel's breath growing ragged and harsh, worried for his father.

"I went down to the base and when I didn't even find a trace of you, I completely broke." Speaking faster, trembles went up and down the angel's body, voice nearly hysterical. "I thought that you had died; I thought that if I had seen you fall earlier, I could've caught you, and we would've been safe…I was wishing for a miracle, wishing that you'd run up to me, and that we could hide from Yggdrasil."

"Kratos…" Lloyd looked up, his concern filling his voice. Kratos didn't seem to hear, and he was shaking his head defiantly.

"It was then that Yggdrasil appeared and dragged me back to Welgaia. What happened then was a bit blurry for about a year or two, but I remember being forbidden from having sharp objects." That single sentence told Lloyd all that he needed to know, and it scared him; his father had tried to kill himself!! And from the sound of it, he'd tried to commit suicide several **hundred** times.

When Kratos drew a breath to continue, Lloyd wrapped his arms beneath his father's in a tight bear hug, face buried into the violet fabric of Kratos' outfit.

"Dad, get a hold of yourself!" he yelled, sending a slight wave of shock through Kratos. The seraph looked down to see his son trembling from held back tears as he continued to rant. "I'm not dead, I'm right here!! You don't have to try and kill yourself again! I'm right here, you idiot!" suddenly realizing what Lloyd was yelling about, Kratos tightened his grip and buried his face into Lloyd's spiky chocolate hair.

"Yes, I was an idiot, wasn't I?" he gasped quietly, feeling tears gathering in his eyes. "I was so certain that Yggdrasil would go through with his promise to restore the worlds after Martel's revival…I thought that you were dead, beyond my aid, like Anna…I didn't want to live anymore." Control and the angelic transformation completely useless against the burst of emotions, an untold amount of tears ran down his face; a whole fifteen years worth.

Lloyd felt the sobs race through his father's body, and in that second he realized that no matter what happened, past or present, his father loved him with every ounce of strength he possessed. Tilting his head up to look at Kratos, Lloyd continued to listen to the beating of the Seraph's heart, which had kept him moving for over four thousand years, which he had only surrendered to one person, then two. The first was obviously Anna, and then his son, who he had believed to be dead for fifteen years. Not stirring from his spot, Lloyd grabbed the blankets that he had wrapped himself in earlier in the evening and pulled them around both himself and Kratos, who startled at the motion. As he watched, the teen snuggled up closer and rested his head against his chest, eyes slipping closed in a way that they had done when he was a toddler.

With a weak, happy smile, Kratos repositioned himself on the bed so that he wasn't so uncomfortable, keeping Lloyd on his lap. Rubbing his son's back, he commented softly, "You'd always do this when you were smaller…especially when Anna was trying to get you in bed." Laughing, he watched Lloyd blush slightly as he heard the story before continuing, "Depending on how active you were, I'd either read to you or show you the stars. It never seemed to be long before you fell asleep. Well, for me at least."

"…But one time, you asked me what the thumping noise you were hearing was." Kratos stated, earning him a slightly puzzled look from Lloyd. "You were in that exact same position, and you said you kept hearing something go thump. And when I explained that it was my heart, you wanted to know how big it was." Laughing softly, he shook his head in amusement. "When I said that it was only as large as a clenched fist, you demanded that it was too small to make such a large noise. When I called it a miracle that a heart can keep a body going, you asked me something that I'll never forget…"

"And that was…?" Lloyd seemed to be falling asleep, safely held in his father's warm arms. Kratos gave him a soft loving smile before answering.

"'What's a miracle?' that's what you wanted to know." Hugging Lloyd tighter, he continued, "I couldn't answer right away, and when I finally found my voice again, Anna had taken you to your room. And I never got a chance to answer you after that."

"Well then…what's a miracle?" Lloyd stated, deep brown eyes locked onto his father's wine red orbs. If any of the others had walked in right then, they would've either done a double take, thought wrong thoughts (incest!) or possibly both. There was a feeling in the air that hinted at a deeper meaning than anything that the others had heard before. Kratos returned the gaze in full, a smile dancing in his eyes as he decided to voice the answer in his heart and mind.

"You." He said simply, eliciting a startled gasp from Lloyd. "You are the miracle I didn't deserve to have, and yet I have you regardless. Every day, from the moment you were born to the very moment I realized who you were several months ago, I've felt like out of all that I've done in my long life, I must've done something right." No longer afraid to let his soul be hurt, Kratos let it show to the one person left that meant a thing to him. His sapphire wings glowed all the brighter, their spectral hue illuminating a small space in time that had no beginning and no end, just father and son, once more together.

Lloyd let his father's words sink into his head, the realization that he was loved by someone with all their heart swamping his mind. Letting large, happy tears run down his face, he flung his arms around Kratos' neck and sobbed again.

"…Daddy…" Was all he managed to choke out a good while later, earning him a hushed laugh and a tight hug. Smiling, the teen let a smile cover his face before he fell asleep, feeling more secure than he had felt in years. Kratos continued to hold Lloyd, a serene look in his eyes as he took in his son's sleeping form. Finding himself not only incapable of movement but unwilling, he chuckled and rested his head against the backboard, slipping off into blissful slumber.

---

A few hours past before Colette wandered up the steps, her present for Lloyd clutched in her hand. When she reached his door, she sighed and simply pushed it open quietly, her eyes widening when she saw what was inside. Lloyd was fast asleep in Kratos' lap, with the auburn seraph sleeping as well, arms tightly holding Lloyd to his chest. The small angel didn't know why, but the scene made her happy, unbearably so. Something about the two just together like that, without a care for the world around them and simply happy to be together again, just like a true family, was so intoxicatingly joyful that it brought a tear to Colette's eye and a happy smile to her face.

Placing the snow hare on Lloyd's dresser, she quickly shut the door and leaned against the wall just as Sheena and Genius came up the stairs. Seeing the tears running down her face, they went to comfort her before noticing her smile.

"Colette? Are you okay?" Sheena asked, puzzled. Colette nodded.

"I'm just…so happy. So happy that I'm crying…" the small angel sniffled quietly, thinking back on how peaceful Lloyd had looked snuggled up to his father. "…Let's leave Lloyd alone; he's asleep right now." Trotting back down the steps to her room, she couldn't wipe the smile from her face.

'Lloyd…your father loves you so much.' The thought ran through her mind, and she stopped to giggle briefly. 'Good to know I'm not the only one. Keep Kratos close to you, Lloyd…' And with the picture of the two Aurions happily asleep in her mind's eye, Colette continued walking to her room, a happy song leaving her mouth quietly.

_**Li:**__ -quits banging head against wall- Finally out of here! Now I can go to work on KoL!!! –cheers- R&R for Kralloyd oyakos!!! WOOO!!!!!! –dances happily, then begins to type chapter five for KoL-_

_Any and all who mistake this for incest shall have Leila the golden dragon sicked upon them. THIS IS NOT INCEST!_


	2. My Wish

_**Li:**__ after much thought, I have decided to extend this into a series of fluffy Kralloyd oyako one-shots, in no particular order, not related in any way, save for being oyakos. Enjoy the fluffiness!!! I do not own ToS or 'My Wish' by Rascal Flats._

* * *

**_I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,  
And each road leads you where you want to go,  
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,  
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you_**.

* * *

Kratos couldn't help but gape at the young boy before him. It couldn't be...But there were too many similarities to miss; the brown hair, the reddish eyes, that cocky smile so like hers, the Exsphere on his hand...that lust for life...

This was his son. This was his Lloyd.

This was not supposed to happen, he didn't want his son involved with Cruxis. And yet here he was, forced along by fate. And yet, Kratos couldn't help the giddy happiness that burned inside his heart.

* * *

_**And if one door opens to another door closed,  
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,**_  
_**If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,**_

* * *

Lloyd didn't know why, but whenever Kratos stood by his side, teaching him the more refined sword attacks, he felt uncontrollably happy. Something about the stoic man seemed so familiar, and yet so strange at the same time, a half forgotten dream shrouded in mist.

He wanted the mist to go away, wanted to find out just who Kratos was to him, and what he had been in his past. He wanted to know why the purple clad mercenary felt so...special, why those typically cold eyes had a special light that was only shown to him alone, a light that made him feel safe and secure at the same time.

* * *

_**But more than anything, more than anything,**_

* * *

This was the night before it all ended, the night before they reached the Tower. Kratos stared in sorrow at the ivory tower, his mind in a fog. If he was lucky, Lord Yggdrasil would spare his son, and let him join them up in Welgaia. If he was unlucky, he would lose the last member of his family.

"What're you doing, Kratos?" Lloyd's question at his ear startled him, nearly making the man jump. Looking at him, Kratos felt the familiar twinge in his heart that was half-remorse, half-guilt.

"Simply looking at the view." He replied, noticing that Lloyd seemed to be worried about him. Walking past him, he stopped and placed a hand on his shoulder. 'He's grown taller...when I first met him, he was barely at my chin... Now, we're nearly even.' He thought, staring gently into the eyes that mirrored his own.

"Uh...is something on me?" Lloyd asked, unnerved by Kratos' intense stare, even if it did make him feel safe. Sighing, the older man squeezed his shoulder and smiled softly.

"Don't die, Lloyd." 'I would be nothing if I knew you had died.' With that said, he walked on down towards the inn. Lloyd stood there in shock for a few minutes before regaining his voice.

"I won't die, Kratos. What are you worried about?" He asked the air, unaware that the angel below him heard every word.

* * *

_**My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,  
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,**_  
_**You never need to carry more than you can hold,**_  
_**And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,**_  
_**I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,**_

* * *

They were staying at Zelos' place for the night, and Lloyd couldn't sleep. Sitting on the spacious window seat in the Chosen's room, he stared up at the stars. He couldn't believe that Kratos, the person that he had admired, had betrayed them, had betrayed **him! **He didn't know why, but it broke his heart.

And yet he couldn't bring himself to hate him. Something deep inside his psyche prevented him from hating him. He never could explain it, and yet the feeling of security that Kratos' presence had brought him had somehow ingrained itself into his soul in the brief time that they had been comrades.

Or had it been there longer, and the journey had simply renewed its strength?

* * *

_**Yeah, this, is my wish.**_

* * *

Kratos sat on the roof of the building next to the Sybak inn, eyes latched on the form of his sleeping son. He looked so peaceful, so angelic that it hurt. He wanted so badly to be down there beside Lloyd, running a hand through that messy brown hair like he used to. It was such a powerful urge that it hurt him, in both mind and soul, to be separated from him.

And yet it was for the best, wasn't it?

* * *

_**I hope you never look back, but ya never forget  
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,**_  
_**I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,**_  
_**And you help somebody every chance you get,**_

* * *

The quiet nighttime around Mizuho was his to see alone, a young idealist lost in his mind. He couldn't bring himself to hate Kratos even then, no more than he could hate Presea for doing what she had done, for it was not something she could control. He didn't want any sacrifices, didn't want anyone to suffer.

He didn't regret not hating Kratos, he never would. Whatever made him so special to Lloyd would always resurface when he was mentioned, causing him confusion and also joy.

Staring up at the stars, like they had done so often on the journey together, one of the many things they had in common-along with a strong hatred of tomatoes- Lloyd often felt as if he could read the Seraph's soul in the words he had spoken then, their arcane tones a balm to the crazed laughs of the professor and Genius' taunts.

_**

* * *

**_

Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake  
_**And you always give more than you take.**_

* * *

Kratos stared at him again; once more they were fighting on the same side. Lloyd's skills with the blade were progressing incredibly well, and he simply wanted to give into the nagging urge to hug him and say that he was so proud of him.

Yet he couldn't, and it hurt him so much.

And when he had told him that they were enemies, he swore that he saw a heart wrenching grief overtake Lloyd's eyes before being masked by acceptance. And yet it hurt him that he had hurt Lloyd so.

_**

* * *

**_

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,

* * *

Lloyd was standing there, on the strip of sandy beach beside the great resort city, staring up at the eclipsing moon as his mind drifted. He wanted Kratos to be there with him, to talk about all that the shadowed body could mean. He didn't care that he was over four thousand years old, he just wanted his mentor and comrade back.

"I didn't expect to see you here." The deep voice echoed across the water's surface, making the teen spin around, a grin on his face. Spying the white clad angel standing behind him, wine colored eyes locked onto him, he felt a dam of joy inside him break.

"Kratos!!" And in an impulse that he couldn't control, he ran to the Seraph and wrapped him in a hug. Kratos gaped and looked in Lloyd in shock, who gasped quietly and let go, apologies falling from his mouth. The auburn couldn't stop his smile and put a hand on top of Lloyd's head, ruffling the chocolate colored locks.

"You remind me of someone close to me that I lost a long time ago..." he whispered, efficiently silencing the teen, who stared in shock at the older man.

"Someone close to you?" He asked, but before he could get an answer, Raine's shriek of his name called his attention to the bezerk orange clad professor tearing at him across the sands. Kratos turned him and gently pushed him towards her, whispering, "Apologizing will get better results than running away." But when Lloyd tried to ask what he meant by that, he was gone, again, and he felt a pain in his heart.

_**

* * *

**_

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,  
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,  
You never need to carry more than you can hold,

_**And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,**_  
_**I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,**_

* * *

They were facing each other outside of Altessa's house, Yuan squarely between them. The past was finally revealed, and Lloyd didn't know whether to deny it or to simply break down and cry for his father to hold him. Kratos was cursing Yuan for threatening his child, who he wanted to stay safe and unhurt, the child he loved.

When he stopped the attack, they could look into one another's eyes. Kratos smiled weakly.

"Heh... when did you get so tall, Lloyd?" he asked gently, trying to forget the pain of the lightning in his body. The look in Lloyd's eyes was half-shock and half-horror over the fact that his recklessness had gotten his father hurt...Again.

Trying to stand, Kratos found himself falling forward, Lloyd catching him.

"Dad!! Are you okay?! ...DAD!!!" Lloyd's yell for him was the last thing Kratos heard as he blacked out

_**

* * *

**_

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything  
_**My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,**_

* * *

They were standing side by side in the snow, father and son. Lloyd looked his father in the eye, no longer tilting his head up to be on level with those gently wine colored orbs. Kratos smiled and placed a hand on Lloyd's shoulder, trembling.

"I'm proud of you." He said simply, registering Lloyd's shocked gasp and the gathering tears before giving in to the renewed urge and hugged him close, wanting briefly to be holding his young son again, the one that could be protected.

"...Dad..." Lloyd couldn't bring himself to not call Kratos that, despite growing up with him absent and gone, presumed dead to the world. Drawing a shuddery breath, he tried to speak, but could only sob gently into those warm, safe arms.

_**

* * *

**_

Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small  
_**You never need to carry more than you can hold,**_

* * *

They were still in the snowy city, having retreated inside the inn to get out of the cold. Staring at the scenery, Lloyd didn't seem to notice anything besides his father's arm around his shoulders and his fingers in his hair. Sighing and leaning into the gentle touch, he wished fondly that Cruxis would wait for a day, a month, or maybe a year, and let him grow to know his father more.

And yet it wouldn't and Kratos would have to leave soon, to search for the last piece needed to make the Eternal ring. He would be leaving again, and Lloyd was hurt by that knowledge.

_**

* * *

**_

And while you're out there getting where you're getting to  
_**I hope you know somebody loves you**_

* * *

He had wanted to die. Releasing Origin should have killed him and ended his misery, and yet hearing Lloyd stand there and call him a stupid jerk made him realize that even if it ended his pain, he would've made Lloyd sad.

He couldn't make the one person he loved suffer anymore than he had already. That would be selfish.

_**

* * *

**_

And wants the same things too  
_**This is my wish**_

* * *

It was time for him to go. He stood there at the foot of the destroyed tower, looking up at the true heavens. Drawing a deep breath, he prepared to take a step onto the warp and sail away when a pained cry stopped him.

"DAD!!!"

Before he turned, he felt Lloyd drop onto his back and hug him fiercely, preventing him from moving even an inch.

"I won't let you go!! You're not going away again!!" The teen yelled, making Kratos sigh.

"I have to. An angel of Cruxis cannot remain here and—"

"I don't care what other people think!! I love you, Dad!!!" Those four words shocked him to the core. Leaving was the best thing, wasn't it?

Or... was it the worst thing?

_**

* * *

**_

I hope you know somebody who loves you

* * *

He couldn't break away from him now, not after he had said that. Kratos drew a breath and turned around in Lloyd's arms, looking his son dead in the eye once more. "Do you mean it?" He asked, voice strangled and uneven. "Do you really...want me back?"

"Of course you big, stupid jerk!" Lloyd sobbed, face buried in the violet of Kratos' shirt. "You're my dad!! I can't not love you!!!" The Seraphim felt his reserve flee him, and he began crying. Wrapping his arms around Lloyd, he rested his head on top of his.

"If that's your wish, I will stay."

_**

* * *

**_

May all you dreams stay big...

* * *

Lloyd looked up at him, joy and delight in his eyes. Flinging his arms around Kratos' neck, he smiled happily, forgetting the tears on his face.

"I love you Daddy."

_**

* * *

**_

This is my wish...

_**

* * *

**_

Li: _-blows nose- I was crying as I wrote this. I thought it was so touching, and the perfect song for these two in a father-son way. –cries- Man!!! Country music says it all sometimes!! –begins __bawling-_

_**R&R!!! Please. Don't read this and not review, it makes me sad.**_

**_NEW NOTES: 11/23: Fixed the bugs due to the formatting._**


	3. My Memories

_**Li:**__ Here's the next installment in the __'__For my Family__'__ oyakos. Not saying what happens, you just have to read. I do not own Tales of Symphonia._

Lloyd stared up at the stars from the shelter of the window at the Triet inn, ignoring the mercenary on the bed behind him. He could ignore just about anything whilst stargazing, something that shocked almost anyone that knew him. When asked why, he simply smiled and shrugged. But he knew why he loved the stars so much.

They were one of the few things he remembered about his parents.

When he was small, he remembered his father holding him and staring up at the heavens and showing him what stars were where, and he would be completely entranced. Sighing wistfully, Lloyd longed to remember those days clearly, not in the fuzzy haze that he typically did. He must've made more noise than he thought, because he heard a groan from behind him.

"Lloyd...what are you still up for?" Kratos asked, sitting up on his bed. Lloyd looked over at him with a sheepish expression on his face.

"Hi, Kratos. Didn't mean to wake you up." He muttered before looking outside again. Kratos sighed and got up, walking over to where his son was sitting. Looking out the window at the heavens, he saw that was exactly what held Lloyd's attention.

"...My dad used to show me the stars..."

"Mmm?" Kratos gave Lloyd a curious look when he spoke, intrigued.

"Not Dirk, my real dad." Lloyd replied, eyes sliding partially closed. Kratos felt something inside him jump for joy and shudder in fear at the same time; did Lloyd remember him?

"I..is that so?" He asked trying to remain calm.

"Mm-hm." Lloyd replied, sounding sleepy as he stared out the window. "It's really fuzzy, and I don't remember what all he said, but I definitely remember him showing me the stars...That's why they're one of the few things I know a lot about..." Kratos sat down beside him on the sill, eyes looking gently at him.

"You seem to want those days back..." He commented softly, earning a glance from Lloyd.

"Yeah, if not them, but at least my real dad..." suddenly alert, he added on, "I-I mean, I love Dad for all that he's done for me, but he's still not my real dad...Nobody can replace that..." The mournful tone he adopted at the end tore at Kratos, who found it harder than before not to hug the teen. He felt incredibly guilty for not finding him all those years ago and leaving him behind...

He wanted his son back just as much as Lloyd wanted his father back.

And the fact that he couldn't tell him killed Kratos, simply **killed** him.

With a rather loud yawn, Lloyd leaned against the window frame and looked at the stars once more, some of the heavenly bodies reflected in his reddish brown orbs. Kratos looked outside as well, a peaceful silence falling around them. Neither uncomfortable nor too deep, both swordsmen seemed content to simply stare at the stars, watching them in silent wonder.

After what seemed hours, Kratos spoke up softly, "I used to watch the stars with someone close to me."

"...Really?" Lloyd asked sleepily, eyes drooping.

"Mm. She would always lie next to me and ask what stars were which..." Kratos smiled ever so faintly as memories of his sweet Anna came back into his mind. Lloyd was looking at him in surprise now.

"You had a girlfriend?" He seemed shocked. Kratos coughed lightly and looked away, a soft look in his eye.

"She was, yes. But she was also my fiancée..." He sighed.

"...What happened to her?" Lloyd asked, sitting up slightly. Kratos drew a raggedy breath and returned his gaze to the stars, fearing that if he looked at Lloyd, he'd see his darling Anna instead of him.

"...She was killed; Desians raised her hometown and took the residents hostage." He murmured, biting his lip. "By the time I had word of that event, she was already dead..." Lloyd was looking at him in concern, and the next thing that Kratos knew, the teen was squeezing his shoulder gently.

"Sorry for bringing up painful memories." He whispered gently, eyes filled with tears. Kratos gaped at him in surprise before giving him a sad smile. Lloyd suddenly gave a weak and shaky laugh. "Heh, guess that's another thing we have in common; we both lost somebody close to us to the Desians."

'How ironic that we lost the same person.' Kratos thought grimly, wondering if the real gods had a twisted sense of humor. Lloyd looked at him again before letting go of his shoulder and looking at the stars once more. Kratos sighed lightly and joined him again, the silence around them even more comfortable than before. The elder found that if he didn't tell Lloyd, maybe he would figure it out.

He still didn't want him too; the pain that they would both feel at the Tower would be even worse, and it just might kill him, and Lloyd...Kratos didn't want to think about what would happen to him...Looking over at the teen again, he saw that he was nearly asleep. Smiling to himself, the mercenary began to relax. Even if he couldn't tell him, he would still be content with the memories of his son.

A few minutes passed, and when Kratos looked again, Lloyd was sound asleep, his chest rising and falling ever so slightly. Sighing and shaking his head, his father picked him up gently and carried him over to the cot the teen had claimed earlier that day. When he saw that the boy was too konked out to care how he slept, he chuckled lightly and sat down on his bed, a soft smile on his face.

'Memories are truly precious things.' He told himself, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes. 'I am a fool to forget that, and that my son needed to remind me of all people. It's the fuzzy memories that he has of our life as a family that he cherishes the most after all.' Sighing again, he opened his eyes halfway and stared at the ceiling, his mind in a different time.

_(Flashback)_

_"__Daddy!!__ Daddy!! __Da__—Oomph!"__ Kratos turned around as a three year old Lloyd ran towards him, tripping over his own feet in his haste to reach his father. The auburn chuckled and walked over to him, picking up the hyperactive toddler._

_"Yes Lloyd?" He asked, smiling lightly. In the few years that he'd been alive, his son had given the ancient angel a far better scope of life than four thousand years of pointless existence. The brunette looked at his father with a grin._

_"Stars!!"__ He squealed, pointing up at the heavens. Kratos tilted back his head as Lloyd continued, "They came back!!!"_

_"That's __right,__ there were clouds last night, weren't they?" The __auburn __mused to __himself__, shifting his grip so that Lloyd didn't make his arm fall asleep. The toddler had a big smile on his face when he turned to look at Kratos again._

_"What's that one?" He pointed to a shooting star as it streaked across the heavens. Kratos could only smile._

_"That's a falling star. Those don't have names." He explained, earning a startled look from his son._

_"Why not?"__ Lloyd asked, curious and slightly confused. Kratos smiled lightly and explained, "People make wishes on falling stars, __they__ don't name them."_

_"Wishes?"__ Lloyd was truly confused now, his face bearing a expression that read 'what are you talking about Daddy?__'.__ Kratos sighed lightly and shook his head._

_"I can't explain wishes; that's something your mother is good at."_

_"Mommy's sleepy." Lloyd said bluntly, making his father __laugh__ lightly; waking up a grouchy Anna was a bad idea. _

_"Look!! __A'other__ one, and __a'other__!!"__ Lloyd squealed as two more shooting stars shot across the black sky, forcing the stationary stars around them to dim in respect to their brief brightness. Shortly after, several more lit up the sky in the evening air, rendering the talkative Lloyd speechless. Kratos lifted him up and settled him on his shoulders so that he could see better, wincing as some of his hair was pulled._

_Looking up, he realized just how much becoming a father had changed him look on things; the meteor shower was no exception. He had seen countless such showers before, but it wasn't until now that he saw the magical aspect behind it. __Streaks of fire flying across the sky and vanishing, making the moonlight grow lighter and __nearly nonexistent whilst they claimed the eyes of the people, forever earthbound._

_And to a child as small as Lloyd, it would be truly magical. Although they had rather active imaginations, no toddler could put into words exactly what they felt about something like this._

_"Pretty..." Lloyd gasped in a hushed voice, reddish brown eyes wide, a smile covering his face._

_"...Yes Lloyd, they are pretty." 'But that is only the half of it.' Kratos felt the typical stirrings in him to take to the air and fly in the air, but he had Lloyd with him; Anna would pitch a fit if he took their son flying so late at night._

_Around a half hour passed before the shower ended, and Kratos could hear Lloyd yawning. __"Bedtime."__ He muttered, feeling Lloyd slip into a position to be given a piggy back. Walking back over to the fire, the Seraph saw his wife sound asleep, her hair in her face. Chuckling under his breath, he set Lloyd down and laid down next to his family, never more so at peace. And on impulse, he reached out and brushed Anna's chocolate colored hair out of her face._

_(End Flashback)_

Kratos smiled and looked at Lloyd again, no longer the small toddler that he was so long ago, but still with the power to make his father look at things-life in particular-in a new light. Chuckling despite himself, he noted that Lloyd had somehow managed to get under the blankets, some of his brown hair in his face.

Standing up and walking over, Kratos reached out and brushed the strands out of his face, like he had done so often before. Lloyd murmured in his sleep and turned into the light touch, subconscious recognizing it as his father's hand.

"Sleep well..." Kratos whispered, pulling the covers up to his shoulder before turning around.

"Nnmm...Dad, I'm not sleepy..." Lloyd muttered in his sleep, burying his face into the pillow. Kratos didn't know if it was him that the teen was referring to or not, but it still made him glad.

Even if he would never know, at least Lloyd would remember him in memories.

_**Li:**__ It's slightly shorter than my-__coughcoughcough__-other two oyakos, but it's just as good in my opinion...-coughing fit- I hope you enjoyed it. R&R!!!_


	4. My Apologies

_Sad song__, and even sadder songfic that got stuck in my head because of it. T.T It's Kratos' apology to Lloyd with the lyrics of "Frozen" thrown into the mix. (The Within Temptation one, not the one by Madonna!) It's mostly in Kratos' PoV, so watch out … I own nothing. _

_Oh, and I would recommend a box of tissues for this, especially if you've seen the official video for "Frozen" and understand it. I needed one while writing this…_

_**My Apologies …**_

* * *

Lloyd …

I know that I should have said this so long ago, and to you face to face … but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was so ashamed of all of the things in my past that I've done wrong, I don't want them to shadow all of the things in my life that you did right.

There are too many of them for me to list, and yet I know you think of them as doing the right thing. If only you knew how much it meant to someone like your foolish, blind father.

* * *

_**I can't feel my senses  
I just feel the cold**_

* * *

The first time I held you, I was afraid. Yes, _afraid_. Afraid of what I should do for you. Afraid of what I would do if Yggdrasil found you and killed you. Afraid of the toll that all of the running your mother and I were doing would be on you. I was simply afraid. Afraid _of_ you, _for_ you, and for your _fate_; mine as well for fathering you.

Then you opened those eyes of yours, those eyes that mirrored my own as Anna said it, and I forgot about all of my fear. And only now, nearly twenty years later do I realize that she was wrong; your eyes were innocent, while mine were filled with the sins that still taint my hand to this day and shadow me wherever I go. I had turned so far from the light when you and Anna came to me, I can't return to its warmth and gentle caress …

It strikes me as ironic as to how pure you are where I am nothing but a shadow to you light, even now.

* * *

_**All colors seem to fade away  
I can't reach my soul**_

* * *

And then I lost you both.

At that moment, for the first time since I lost my sister and parents to the war so many endless centuries ago, I felt hollow. I didn't feel a thing at all, all my emotions walled off, and the heavens had to weep for me.

I absolutely hated what I had become in that moment of time, where my blade tore Anna's skin in two, and when I just barely missed you as you fell off the cliff. I wanted to die so badly, I wanted to run away from it all, and yet my own stubborn pride and the veil over my judgment would not relent.

I will always regret that I didn't even bother searching for you that stormy night, where the rain was more than water.

But I will never regret that you turned out a far better soul than if I had raised you in this cold, immoral city of "angels".

* * *

**_I would stop running  
If I knew there was a chance_**

* * *

I ran away from that sin, like all of the ones before it. I war forcefully returned to Welgaia, where my sole wish was to rejoin you and Anna in Ninerva. But even then, I think a part of me knew that I wouldn't see you or your mother ever again; I was bound for hell from the moment I first unleashed my wings, and you and Anna were in a land where nothing is evil.

A world where I knew I would never reach at all.

Even now, I want to go back in time and halt Yuan from telling you about our relation, prevent you from bearing this burden that is made of my sin and crimes. I want to stop you from ever hearing that I am your father, even though it tore my heart into shards from the moment that I met you to know I wasn't the one who you so fondly referred to as "Dad".

Even though it kills me inside to say this, I still wish that you did not know of our blood bond. I do not want you to be of my descent, not because I am ashamed of you, but because of I am ashamed of myself.

* * *

_**It tears me apart to sacrifice it all  
But I'm forced to let go**_

* * *

I do not regret giving you the locket. You hold more right to wear it around your neck than I can with it around mine. All it can do for me is bring upon more memories of our time together as a family, in that light that I lost the right to bask in. I do not know who gave your mother to me, but I know that they did so for a reason, without knowing what would happen along the way.

Perhaps they meant to punish me for all of my wrongdoings.

Or perhaps they simply wished to teach me that the weight of my sins is unbearable, and I am the only one who could bear to shoulder such a thing. And at times, they might have wanted to say that I am not a "god" at all, simply a fool who meddles with fate beyond his control.

Ereshkigal—the Spirit of Death, seeing as how she is only know to certain scholars—might have simply wished to punish me for escaping her grasp as long as I have. She gave me the purest angel in all existence, one who loved me despite my past, and then you, our child, only to have my blade cut her down.

Whichever it is, it worked. For all I can assume, it can be all of them, or for some reason I cannot begin to fathom, it was that sole evening that made my eyes open to it all.

* * *

**_Tell me I'm frozen  
But what can I do?_**

* * *

And when we met again, I had been torn once again; I wanted to hold you and tell you who I was to you, and still I wanted to deny who you were because—heaven forgive me for saying this—I do not deserve someone like you as a child.

You were the one who set things right, who only wanted to do good in this world, who cried for someone who had _betrayed _you… You, Lloyd, are the only one who should be called a guardian angel; I hold no more claim to that title than Mithos did to that of savior and Martel of Goddess.

And all of those lessons, all of the things I did—the good and the bad—they were all for you.

* * *

_**Can't tell the reasons  
I did it for you**_

* * *

Those months that I spent with you and aiding you, if Yggdrasil had found out, all of us would've died; I would not have cared in the least about my own fate, but you and your friends … I didn't want any of you to die. And it is not because I am a selfless person did I want to die in your place, but rather the opposite; I was selfish.

I wanted to die so much, it drove me insane. I wanted to see Anna again, wanted to carry you around on my shoulders as I had before …

But I wouldn't have done it, for my hands are too soiled to touch you. None of your purity remains in me.

* * *

_**When lies turn into truth  
I sacrifice for you**_

* * *

At the Tower of Salvation, when I revealed my true purpose to you and the others, I wanted to kill myself then and there. Not only would it have it made it easier on you in the long run, but you wouldn't have to face the harsh reality of who I was to you all those years ago, and I wouldn't have been a weight on your mind after then.

And yet on the other side of the matter, I wouldn't have seen you become an adult. Your wisdom was not in books or the world around us, but of the persona of each person. So many times I would feel humbled by the way you spoke so assured about the good qualities in us all.

Even though there are none left within me.

* * *

**_You say that I am frozen  
But what can I do?_**

* * *

And when I saw you at Anna's grave, it pinches at my heart.

Because of me, you lost your mother at such a young age, and you never understood all of the joy that she brought to my life.

* * *

**_I can feel your sorrow  
_I sacrifice**

* * *

The first encounter I had with you after my betrayal, I could feel all of the hate in your voice as you spoke my name; I do not blame that hatred in the least, and I knew then and there that even if I repented and told you all off the truth there that nothing would ever be the same.

I was not your father.

I was not your teacher.

And I was no longer the one who knew you best.

Yes, I could tell even then that you had given your heart and soul to another; I am fine with that. And I am sorry for all that she has suffered to do for you, even though she was the only one that could make the pact with Origin …

* * *

**_You won't forgive me  
But I know you'll be alright_**

* * *

And now that I am on that topic, I wish the two of you the best. I only wish that I could make it to the wedding, or see the grandchildren that I know will be in the future. All I have to tell you about that is this; hold her tight and don't let her go; don't make the mistakes that I did.

And most of all, be as happy as you can for as long as you can, for in the end—from the way you spoke about it in your last letter, you are well aware of what will happen in the future—you will be alone in time.

I am sorry that the curse of my blood was passed onto you.

That is why I had to leave you once again.

* * *

**_It tears me apart that you will never know  
But I have to let go_**

* * *

Out here, you can see the stars so clearly … it takes my breath away. They stretch on for miles upon miles, too many for one person to count in their life. Not even within my four thousand odd year existence have I managed it. And yet my gaze—and yours—cannot bear to be torn away from them.

I can only pray that the same ones I gaze at are visible down where you dwell, with those you love.

And I am sorry that I am not down there with you.

I do not deserve you at all.

* * *

**_Tell me I'm frozen  
But what can I do?  
Can't tell the reasons  
I did it for you_**

* * *

"_A cowardly man will run and hide from his mistakes; a brave one will try to correct them."_

The longer I reflect upon those words that Rose said so long ago, the more I can comprehend them, and the more ashamed of myself I become. If I had tried to correct my wrongs earlier, if I had stopped Mithos' madness before it took root and created this mess that fell to you to fix, I wouldn't be such a fool as I know myself to be now.

Whenever I did something wrong, I would forget about it, hiding it behind me and trying to move along with my life.

Rose … I am so sorry …

Lloyd, please do not run from your past; it shall haunt you forever, as it haunts me now.

* * *

**_When lies turn into truth  
I sacrifice for you  
You say that I am frozen  
But what can I do?_**

* * *

And as I stand here and gaze out at the violet mist around me, I can't help but feel a bit lighter in spirit than I was originally. I only want to apologize for what has happened, and for the path that my foolishness paved for you behind our gaze—yours as well as my own.

* * *

_**Everything will slip away  
Shattered pieces will remain  
When memories fade into emptiness**_

* * *

I do not know what will happen now, but all I know is that because you corrected all of the things that I had done wrong, they will be far better than if Mithos had triumphed. The light of your soul … I have no wish to shadow it.

…__

* * *

**_Only time will tell its tale  
If it all has been in vain_**

* * *

It has been too long … the angels that remain have either made plans to return to Aselia and work with Mana to protect the great tree, or have gone mad. Those who lead the sane ones know of my sole wish now, and that is that you receive this when they arrive. I have done all I can here; the Exspheres have all been destroyed, and now it is time for judgment …

Best of luck, my dear, dear son …

And I am so sorry …

* * *

(Normal PoV)

Kratos put down the pen and folded the paper gently, thankful that the tears that had fallen from his eyes had not smudged any of the words written. It had been so easy to write, but the message inside had been so hard for him to face. He had done so many things wrong, too many for him to ever make up for.

And yet he had forgotten to say one thing.

Quickly unfolding the paper, he wrote at the bottom,

"_Never forget that I love you … And that I am sorry for all of this."_

Another tear fell as he closed the letter once more, and stuck it in the blank envelope; the angels would know who it was for anyway. Standing and stepping away from his desk, Kratos looked around the room once more, and his gaze stopped on a sole picture. Taking it in his hands, he removed the picture from the frame and gently, tucked it into his pocket and let out a shaky breath.

With that, he took the naked blade in his hands and placed it at his neck.

* * *

**_I can't feel my senses  
I just feel the cold_**

* * *

The angels that still lived down below in the ruins of Welgaia all looked to the floor when the great clock struck seven a.m., for they knew all too well what happened then. Twenty years ago, Lloyd Aurion had been born on this day, the twenty-second of September, at that exact time, the day that he had been born onto the world that he would save …

And now it would be the day that his father, Kratos Aurion, would take himself out of it.

* * *

**_Frozen  
But what can I do?  
Frozen_**

* * *

Down on Aselia, a white and green hound the size of a horse let out a grief-stricken howl, and the cobalt angel that was looking after him while his owners were on a belated trip to see friends in Ozette, stopped what he was doing in an instant. Looking down at his hands as the undeniable grief from what had just passed filled him, Yuan cursed.

"Bastard …"

* * *

Lloyd woke up in the hotel room with a cry, a cold sweat racing down his back. Looking at the rising sun, he felt his wife stir next to him, but it wasn't that which had woken him; something far more horrible had done that, and yet his mind couldn't figure out what it was until he felt the light weight of the locket on his chest. Grasping for it, he could only forge a single word …

"Dad …"

"Lloyd …?" Sheena stirred again, waking as she saw Lloyd's utterly confused expression as he looked at the gold pendant, watching the emotions in his eyes contrast and blend until he looked at her again, this time his eyes overflowing with tears.

"Dad … he's gone."

* * *

**_Tell me I'm frozen  
But what can I do?  
Can't tell the reasons  
I did it for you_**

* * *

The funeral was brief and silent, with only four members visibly present; two humans, a half-elf, and a protozoan. Lloyd looked at the place where both of his parents now laid, the fiery red blade Flamberge resting in a stone chest above their heads, tears still staining his face. Sheena was at his side, crying into his shoulder with no cares. She hadn't wanted to lose her father-in-law just yet; Lloyd wouldn't be able to handle it just now, not with the news that they now had a baby on the way.

Yuan stood behind them both, a hand on Noishe. He looked silently at the ground, having not said a word the entire time. He had known Kratos for far longer than any of the others combined, and yet he knew so little about who he truly was … his eyes rested on the young couple before him, and his still stinging emerald eyes began to water again. Noishe let out one last howl, the only noise in the pale twilight.

* * *

_**When lies turn into truth  
I sacrifice for you  
You say that I am frozen**_

* * *

It was later in the evening, where Lloyd sat upon the roof and re-reading the letter when Sheena found him. "Lloyd, can I sit here?" She asked softly, not wanting to disturb him. Her husband looked at her briefly with swollen eyes and nodded, throat too tight to say any words at that moment. Settling herself, Sheena read the letter over lloyd's shoulder, and she alone noticed the folded up corner.

"What's this?" She pointed to it. Lloyd looked, blinking.

" … I didn't notice that before." He admitted, and unfolded it. The words that were formerly concealed made his breath catch again as he read them, and he buried his face into his hands and screamed in grief.

"That damn idiot!! It wasn't his fault!! None of it, _none!!_"

* * *

**_Frozen  
…_**


	5. My Confession

_Must … resist … songfic … AUGH!!! X.X This isn't leaving me alone!!! XO Well hopefully this one won't turn out as angsty as My Apologies … I don't own the characters, and the song is "Rewind" by Pillar._

_**My Confession **_

_**  
**_

* * *

(_Lloyd's PoV)_

Well, I never thought that I would be telling you like this, Dad. Heh … I guess that's what I get for waiting until after you left before telling you what I really thing about you. And about how I acted around you. Personally, I think I was kind of stupid …

Not that you weren't as well.

But … I think the thing that changed us most of all was when we lost Mom. I'm not going to go into details, because we both know what happened. But I will admit that I was probably scared just as much as you were.

And then, when I fell … I remember watching your face go absolutely white with panic.

Then you were gone.

_

* * *

_

It seems just like yesterday,  
was the first time that I  
heard you call my name,  
since then so much has changed,  
I'm still the same man that I was before

* * *

(Kratos' PoV)

Lloyd …

Do you know how often you've frightened me? Even as a child, you would always make a part of me so scared. I'm not going to elaborate, but let's just say that I was rather … over protective of you. After Anna, you were the most wonderful thing to me.

And when you were seventeen and as stubborn as a mule, I often wondered who you got quality from; not I. if I had been stubborn, I would've found you after your fall, instead of surrendering at the sight of the bodies and the blood.

But now … some of your stubbornness has rubbed off on me, and I really regret it, because I wanted some more time with you.

_

* * *

_

knowing that I could be without anything,  
scares me away from being alone,  
now that I know what's going on,  
I could look back and see you,  
and time made you wait,  
as I turned away

_

* * *

_

(Lloyd)

Dad …

If I told you how much I loved you, right now, would you come back?

Even when you weren't there, I wanted to see you so much that I used to break down and cry at the most random moments. I missed you so much that it was killing me, and now I'm afraid that if you don't come back, I'll start up again.

Please, come back …

_(Kratos)_

Nngh! This is really frustrating … Lloyd, tell me again, what did I say that I had to do up here? The angels have all faded out of existence, taking their Cruxis Crystals into oblivion with them. And yet … curse your stubbornness, I've stayed, when what I want is to come back and spend some time with you, my son.

I've been gone too long, but can I really return to the way things were before??

_

* * *

_

If I could rewind,

_watch __all my life,  
just pass me by and see you,  
if I could rewind,  
I'd take back the lies,  
and all of those times I hurt you__  
_

_

* * *

_

(Lloyd)

Hey … do you remember where we first met? I don't mean when you helped us out at the Martel Temple, but … where I was born. I feel so bad because I don't know where it is myself, but that's not the main reasoning behind it.

You said that Mom was from Luin, so I know that you have precious memories from there; yeah, I saw your face when the Desians destroyed it. (You looked ready to kill someone, but that's a different story) But you were never like that with any of the other cities that we went to.

Were you just trying to keep me from finding out who you were? And if yes, then why? Why did you never tell me?

Oh … yeah, that's right; you left us at the Tower that time.

Do you know how much I wanted to hurt you then? Do you know what I thought about you at that moment when you told us who you really were??

… Do you know what I thought about myself when you had me at your mercy?

I felt absolutely stupid; for losing, for breaking my promise to Colette, but mostly because I _knew _that _I knew you _from somewhere, but I couldn't place it!!! I wanted to know who you were before, the you from when we knew one another really well!!

… was that selfish of me or what?

_

* * *

_

I don't know if I'll ever know,  
exactly how much that I hurt you,  
knowing that hurts me every day,  
if I could rewind I would take it away,  
and I make you wait,  
and I won't walk away

_  
_

* * *

(Kratos)

Do you remember me from your childhood now, Lloyd? … I'm most certain that you do, because of the way you looked me in the eyes when we said goodbye.

You were more right than you ever knew … I'm such an idiot ...

_

* * *

_

if I could rewind,  
watch all my life,  
just pass me by and see you,  
if I could rewind,  
I'd take back the lies,  
and all of those times I hurt you,

* * *

(Lloyd)

… After that, I was torn.

I wanted to hate you at first, but how could I? You didn't have to (well, maybe you did, but I didn't think so at the time), but you took me under your wing and taught me more about life and loyalty in those few months than I've learned from the Professor in about … twelve years of school. Even if it meant I got dumped in the dirt every single time we sparred, I enjoyed myself so much that I actually had someone to look up to.

Yeah, I admired you. How's that for an ego boost, Dad; we both know you need it.

I remember everything you said to me, everything that you did. True, you acted like an ass when I was being stupid, but that's understandable.

… Ah, I miss you! Come back, damnit!!

I don't care that you were with Yggdrasil!! I don't care that you're an immortal!! I don't care that you're a bloody idiot!! I want you back, Dad!! Come back home!!

_(Kratos)_

… I've had enough of this place.

I don't belong here, I never did; I've always been the realistic one, but recently it seems that I've been a little foolish in my actions. I miss you too much, Lloyd; it's starting to drive me insane, slowly but surely.

… To hell with it; Lloyd … I'm coming back …

And please, please … don't hold my sins against me. … Actually, you can, but I hope that it doesn't change the connection between us. I know I botched at being the father I should've been, but … will you allow me a second chance?

Because … after you came into it, my life has been focused on you, my child.

_

* * *

_

I want to take back all those lies,  
I wanna take back all those times,  
I wanna show you in my life,  
that I'm here for you,

* * *

(Welgaia, normal PoV)

Kratos looked around the room one last time; was there anything else here that was worth taking back with him to Aselia? No … he already held most of his more personal items in his pack, leaving behind things that weren't a necessity. With a grunt, Kratos slung the pack over his shoulders, and walked out of the room and into the empty streets of Welgaia.

Without once looking back, the auburn walked hurriedly towards the transport that would take him back to Aselia, a place where he was more than comfortable with. The place … The place where his son was waiting, hopefully where they would finally be reunited; he wasn't going to leave it again until Ereshkigal herself came and took him to the next life.

As if granted extra strength by the thought, Kratos quickened his pace. "Wait for me just a little longer, Lloyd; I'm coming for you …"

_

* * *

_

If I could rewind,  
watch all my life,  
just pass me by and see you,  
if I could rewind,  
I'd take back the lies,  
and all of those time I hurt you,

* * *

(Aselia …)

Lloyd wandered around the clearing near the Great tree in a daze. He didn't know why, but that morning, he'd had a strong urge to come to the place. 'Why am I here again?' he asked himself mentally before falling to the grass, staring up at the pale blue sky with weary eyes. 'I've really changed … before Dad left, I would've gladly taken now to rest, but …'

Sighing again, Lloyd closed his eyes and said softly, "Dad … can you hear me? I … I really miss you. I don't know if you can come back – hell, I don't know if you can hear me – but if you can, will you, please?"

"Yes."

Lloyd's head shot up at the response to his question, eyes filling with happy tears as he looked behind him, a disbelieving, yet happy smile on his face as Kratos stood in the clearing a good distance away.

"DAD!!" He hollered, leaping to his feet and running at the man with all of his speed behind him. Kratos – as if on impulse – dropped his pack and did the same, catching Lloyd in his arms when the young man launched himself into his father's arms. The velocity knocked both down to the soft grass, but they were too happy hugging to notice.

_

* * *

_

if I could rewind,  
watch all my life,  
just pass me by and see you,  
if I could rewind,  
I'd take back the lies,  
and all of those times I hurt you.

* * *

"I feel rather foolish for leaving you like I did, Lloyd." Kratos admitted later in the evening. The two were still lying in the grassy plain, side by side, eyes locked on the heavens. Lloyd looked over at his father while making a questioning noise. Shifting so that he could look at him, Kratos sighed and finished, "… I had no real reason for doing so … Will you forgive me?"

The response he got was a smile.

"You're still an idiot, Dad … but yes; I forgive you. For everything …"

"... Thank you ..."

"Just don't go and screw it up again, you hear?"

"Heh … don't worry, Lloyd; I won't lie to you again …"

_

* * *

_

Yes, I am freaking obsessed with the bloody song. *w* But it's so pretty, isn't it?? ISN'T IT?? I thought it would fit this sort of situation just so well … ^w^

_Like this? Hate it? Review, and give me some feedback, people!!_


	6. My Guardian

_Well, here's a *really* short oyako-ish oneshot to add to this collection~! I own nothing!_

**

* * *

My Guardian**

_(Lloyd's PoV …)_

He's doing it again; Kratos, I mean. Just as I start to drift off to sleep, I can feel him staring at me. The first time it happened, I about woke up and screamed at him to knock it off, but I was too tired, and really didn't care what the man did at that point. And as strange as it is, I really wasn't grossed out … True, it was kind of … awkward that Kratos was doing that, but I didn't feel like he'd leap on me and do something ….

I think I just mentally scarred myself by thinking that.

Regardless, ever since then, he's been staring at me on occasion at night time, when we settle down for the evening. I don't want to know why he's doing it, but I don't want to tell the Professor either. If I told her, she'd go all parental on me, and she would do anything to stop the sword lessons Kratos is giving me … she'd probably make sure we weren't even in the same room alone together.

So telling the Professor is definitely out!

Not only do I enjoy the sword lessons – even though Kratos beats me into the ground every time we spar – but … I feel comfortable around him, and I don't know why. It's like I _know _him from somewhere, but I really can't put my finger on it. And when he talks to me, he's not as much of a jerk as he is to the others, so either he's just a nice guy who doesn't like nosy people, or the two of us met sometime in the past.

And … not only that, but … well, Kratos just seems like he's looking after me, in his own weird way; he's always making sure that I'm alright, even before he checks on Colette, who he's being _paid_ to protect. And he always uses first aid if he notices that I'm hurt, but on the sly of course, so the Professor doesn't get on his case. And now, it's come to this; the staring at me as I'm sleeping.

Like I said, it doesn't creep me out; if anything, it makes me feel far more comfortable at night now than before. Especially the one night we were in Triet, and I almost thought someone was in the room with me, holding a knife to my neck. But the instant I woke up, whoever was in the room was gone, and Kratos was looking at me in concern, because it's very rare for me to wake up screaming in the middle of a clear night.

Stormy nights … those are a different story. I wake up in the middle of the night if I hear rain falling, or I can't get to sleep in the first place. And when I do sleep, I always have nightmares; I always see what happens to Mom all over again … and I can't do anything to stop the dreams from coming. One night I really did wake up screaming bloody murder, scared to death because I thought that I saw a Desian lunging at me with its sword raised.

The next thing I remember was being shaked by the shoulders, and Kratos was telling me to calm down. I looked at him, and completely broke down and sobbed like an idiot. I still don't know why I did, or why I spilled out what my nightmare was about, but I knew that he listened and actually tried to comfort me in spite of it. That meant something to me; the one time I tried to explain it to the others, they didn't really quite get the trauma behind all of it.

That attack happened when I was _three._

I shouldn't be able to even REMEMBER it!

But for some reason, when I told Kratos, he just gave me this … really sad look. Well, really sad for him, and he ruffled my hair. I don't think that I would have hurt him for doing it even if I had been in a more stable frame of mind; it felt comforting. And he seemed to understand how badly the nightmare bugged me, because he didn't try to comfort me too much, nor did he apologize like Colette always did when I told her about it. He just sat there beside me on the bed, talking to me calmly still running his hand in my hair.

That's when he started staring at me when I went to sleep, I bet. He's probably just making sure I don't wake up horrified out of my life again, for whatever reason he has. And I let him; it feels nice to have someone looking out for me, even if it would be kind of awkward for someone else to try and understand.

Huh, well, I guess I just understand Kratos better than a lot of people do. And well, he understands me better than anybody from Iselia ever did, save for Dad. Not even Colette, not even the Professor … Heck, not even my best friend, Genis, understands me this well! I guess it's just Kratos then …

So when I start to go asleep, I don't know if it's because of my nightmares or something else, but Kratos just sits up and stares at me until he falls asleep, like some red-eyed, cross-tempered, kick-your-ass-to-Niflheim-if-you-piss-him-off guardian angel or something to that extent. And I'm perfectly okay with that; I like having someone looking after me …

Please do not take that in the wrong way; I don't think of Kratos that way. That's just … ew …

* * *

_XD  
_

_The last line just seems like something Lloyd would say, as is the "mentally scarring myself" bit. ^w^_

_Like it, hate it, review, pleases~!  
_


	7. My Hugs

_This just randomly poped into my head, so I hope this goes well._

**

* * *

My Hugs**

If there was one thing that Kratos did not like, it was much physical contact with other human beings. Those who were rather close to him perhaps hugged him once in a great while, when they knew the auburn would need the contact the most. So to say that was risky for anyone to hug him when he wasn't in a huggy mood was a major understatement.

Lloyd seemed to be the exception. "Daaaaaaadddddddddd~ what're you doing?" The brunet asked as he somehow snuck up on Kratos and wrapped his arms around Kratos' neck, making the auburn look at him with an arched eyebrow.

"What're _you_ doing? I thought you told Dirk that you would be helping him in the forge today." Kratos commented, hiding the object that he held in his lap from Lloyd's view. It was a birthday present for the boy, but he didn't want him to see it until it was that day. The feeling of Lloyd's arms wrapped around his neck was oddly comforting, but at the moment, he found the situation awkward, as he had been leaning over his project and was now dangerously close to falling off of the bench and onto his face.

Lloyd didn't seem to notice this, because he shrugged. "Change of plans: Altessa stopped by, so I won't be needed in there until after lunch is done." He said simply, and then leaned over his father some more. "and you never answered _my _question: what're you up to? You're usually meditating or talking to Mom this time of day." He commented, and then added, "And you usually snap at me to get off of you by now: are you feeling sick today or something?"

"I love you too, Lloyd." Kratos commented sarcastically, rolling his eyes behind his auburn bangs. He wasn't lying; the thought of leaving Lloyd behind again had kept him on Syvlarant despite the nagging voice in the back of his head that demanded he go back to Welgaia five years ago. Now he was living with Lloyd and dirk just outside of Iselia, having just returned from the Exsphere quest. "But could you please get off now? This isn't exactly … the most comfortable position to be hugged in." Kratos commented, deciding to imply that he had been wanting to ask it for a while, although he really hadn't; Lloyd was the only one who got away with hugging him as much as he did.

Shrugging, Lloyd let go of his father slowly before leaning on the bench next to him. Sensing that Lloyd wasn't going to leave him alone for a while, kratos sighed and tucked the present he was working on away. Lloyd didn't notice because he smiled at his father again. "You've gotten a lot more open too; you're certainly smiling a heck of a lot more than you used to." He commented as he flipped over the bench to sit on it next to Kratos, who gave a questioning noise at the statement. Lloyd looked back at him with a wide smile. "You used to only smile if I said something to you in private, and now you're smiling so much that it seems natural."

"Was I really that bad?" Kratos asked, not truly willing to believe it, even though he knew it was the truth. Lloyd laughed at that and leaned against Kratos again. It was almost impossible to believe that Lloyd was in his early twenties when he acted like this, but Kratos didn't seem to mind. Instead, he smiled softly and leaned against Lloyd as well, and the two sat like that for a few moments. Lloyd gradually nestled closer until he was pressed against his father's side. Kratos noticed such, and slowly moved to wrap an arm around him. "You're certainly in a snuggle mood …" he commented after a moment, to which Lloyd laughed lightly.

"You're one to talk. I'm lucky if I get to hug you once a week." He smiled up at Kratos from where his head rested, eyes halfway closed, the slight breeze blowing his hair out of his face. "I like it when you're like this though: you're really so much more relaxed and open if you're in the mood for physical contact." Kratos gave Lloyd a smile, and then wrapped both arms around Lloyd in a sudden bear hug, which he kept going for a few moments before releasing Lloyd.

Sitting up and away from him, Kratos smiled as broadly as he could. "And I have you to thank for that."

_

* * *

Kratos really needs to hug Lloyd, dammit! XO_

_On a random note, I hate my room right now: it's too hot for me to sleep, and I have work tomorrow … D:_


	8. My Patches

**My Patches**

* * *

"Daddy, Daddy look! Lookit the kitty~!" Kratos turned around when he heard his five-year-old son calling for him. What he saw when he did turn around made him smile ruefully. There was Lloyd, playing with a small grey and orange kitten in a sandbox, giggling at the kitten chased the grass he was dragging along the ground. "Lookit him! He's sweet!" Lloyd crooned again before tripping over his feet to land on his bottom. The kitten, seeing the opportunity, leaped into Lloyd's lap and settled there, purring.

Kratos walked over there slowly and knelt before the duo. Looking at the cat, he couldn't help but smile. Inside his heart, though, the auburn knew that Lloyd couldn't keep the obviously stray kitten; they had been on the run from Cruxis ever since Anna's death, and they wouldn't be able to keep such a small animal safe for that long amount of time. "Where did you find him, Lloyd?" Kratos asked instead, reaching out to scratch the kitten behind his ears. A loud purr issued from the tiny animal, making Kratos smile again.

"He followed me! Can I keep him?" Lloyd asked, wrapping his arms around the kitten and looking up at Kratos with the biggest eyes he could manage. Kratos gave his son a soft look, an exasperated noise leaving him. "Pleaaaaseeeeeeee??? I proommmiiissseeee to look after him …" Lloyd begged again, looking down at the kitten in his lap. "I already call him Patches …"

"Patches?" Kratos asked in amusement, taking a closer look at the cat; it did indeed look like the cat's fur was grey and orange patches sewn together. "That's an appropriate name …" A heavy sigh left Kratos. "Lloyd, we can't keep him."

"but wwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy~??" Lloyd pouted, clearly already attached to 'Patches'. The grey and orange kitten mewed quietly, and then curled up in Lloyd's lap to nap. "Plleeeaaaassssseeeeee Daddy?" Kratos gave Lloyd a soft look, and then looked at Patches again. It wasn't fair, honestly, that Lloyd had to grow up without knowing what it felt like to actually have a home …

No, instead, he was being dragged hither and yon by his renegade angel of a father. Glancing at Patches again, Kratos looked up at Lloyd and smiled softly. "Not today, Lloyd. Someday, when everything is alright, I wouldn't mind having a cat in the house." He said gently, scooping Patches up into his arms. "Is that a deal, Lloyd?" He asked. Lloyd nodded slowly, softly, and stood up. Standing on his tip toes, he scratched Patches behind the ears one last time.

"Bye bye for now, Patches! Daddy and I will come back for you later~" he crooned, and was startled to hear a deeper meow as a mother cat came out of the bushes, glaring accusingly up at Kratos, who still held Patches in his arms. Chuckling, Kratos knelt and let the queen cat take Patches from him, and after a few seconds, both cat and kitten were out of sight. Kratos watched them go, Lloyd leaning against his side, feeling for once like he could understand exactly what a cat was saying.

'You look after your baby, I look after mine, that's all there is to it.'

_

* * *

Inspired by the kitten who followed me home today, and who is currently fast asleep on my pillow. No, this kitten doesn't resemble Patches, for my little shadow is a little black and white female with extra toes who I have dubbed Cloud. Whether or not I can keep her is still a mystery, but for right now, she's mine, and in all reality, that's all that matters to me._

_Review, please. I will try to have more oyako in here next time._


End file.
